


Granddog

by perniciousLizard



Series: Gaster Is Alive But Don't Worry About It [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: But This Fic Is About Babysitting Puppies, Dadster, Gen, Goopy W. D. Gaster, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, They Saved Gaster From The Void
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-27 04:16:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10801506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perniciousLizard/pseuds/perniciousLizard
Summary: There’s a small emergency in Dogaressa’s family and she and Dogamy need someone to watch their kids overnight.  Papyrus volunteers and Sans volunteers Gaster.  I made this into a post-pacifist AU where they somehow managed to bring Gaster back from the void.





	Granddog

**Author's Note:**

> The prompt from [armonah](http://armonah.tumblr.com/) was: Papyrus vs. a nest of annoying puppies + Gaster being world’s worst babysitter. Thank you!

The old man was sinking into the living room couch in a way Sans found relatable. Emotionally, obviously, not physically.  

“hey.  pops. uh.  mind the gap, there." 

Gaster started back awake, reforming fully onto the couch.  He never had the shape he had before his "fall,” but Sans was getting used to his new look.

“[Thank you,]” he said, with his hands.  

“if i have to watch bro mop you outta the couch again, i’m getting nightmares.”

Like his name summoned him, Papyrus burst in from the kitchen.  "WONDERFUL NEWS,  BELOVED FAMILY!  MY LONG LOST FATHER AND…MY SHORT AND USUALLY AROUND BROTHER?“  He skidded to a stop halfway across the living room.  

"round?  i guess that’s what happens when you eat as many ‘burgs as i do. you’re…”  Sans winked. “…dependable.  everyone always knows where to find you.”

“WE CAN GET INTO A DISCUSSION ABOUT YOUR EATING HABITS LATER, SANS!  I DON’T HAVE MUCH TIME.”

“yeah. and a great chef like you always needs some extra thyme.”

“THANK YOU FOR COMPLIMENTING MY SKILLS AS A CHEF, HOWEVER…NOW IS STILL NOT THE TIME.  NOT FOR THAT OR THE HERB PUN YOU TRIED TO SLIP BY MY KEEN, TRAGICALLY WELL DEVELOPED PUN SENSES.”

“nothing gets past you, bro.”

“[I herb you were good at that,]” Gaster said.  Sans hadn’t been sure he was paying attention until that moment.

Papyrus sighed, loud and exasperated.  "DOES ANYONE ELSE HAVE SOMETHING THEY NEED TO EXPRESS, BEFORE I CAN SPEAK?“

"don’t think of this as a… _pun_ ish _mint_ , papyrus,” Sans said.

“[We clove you, son.]”

“WHY DID THINGS TURN OUT THIS WAY?” Papyrus asked.  "WOULD YOU LET ME SAY WHAT I MUST, BEFORE I HAVE TO… _LEAF_?“

"nice.”

“NYEH-HEH-HEH!” He crossed his arms and lifted up his chin.  Unfortunately, he wasn’t wearing a cape, so it couldn’t blow dramatically behind him. “ANYWAY!  I HAVE BEEN GIVEN A VERY IMPORTANT, VERY IMMEDIATE TASK.”

“you need help, or something?”  Sans didn’t want to stand up.

“ABSOLUTELY NOT!  I WANTED TO INFORM YOU THAT I WILL BE UNABLE TO COOK YOU A DELICIOUS, HEALTHY DINNER THIS EVENING.  BECAUSE I HAVE OTHER PLANS!”

“uh.  a date?” Would Papyrus call that a “task?”  ….Maybe?

“YOUR GUESS IS UNSURPRISING, AS I AM OF COURSE POPULAR ENOUGH TO DRAW ANY NUMBER OF ATTRACTIVE, SEXY SINGLES HELPLESSLY TOWARDS MY PERSON.  HOWEVER, IF I DID HAVE A DATE, IT WOULD HAVE TO BE A…RAIN DATE!”

“i get it.”

“I HAVE BEEN ASKED TO BABYSIT,” he explained.  "DOGAMY CALLED ME JUST A FEW MINUTES AGO.  APPARENTLY A MEMBER OF DOGARESSA’S FAMILY IS ILL, AND THEIR REGULAR BABYSITTER WILL NOT BE AVAILABLE UNTIL THE MORNING.“

"oh.  guess you can’t just drag six puppies to a hospital with you, or wherever.”

“IT IS…INADVISABLE.”  

“[Six?]”  Gaster’s whole body shuddered.  "[Two was not easy.]“

"it’s a few hours,” Sans said.

“IT MAY NOT BE EASY FOR YOU, BUT IT WILL BE A BREEZE FOR SOMEONE LIKE ME,” Papyrus said.  Sans could easily read the unease on his face.

“[Are you sure?]”  

“YES!”  Papyrus ran into his room, probably to pack a bag for overnight.

Gaster was staring at Sans.  It was a bad idea to look too long into the empty spaces of his uneven eye sockets.

“you want a chisp?” Sans asked.

“[It is too much.]  He continued to stare.  ”[He is aware.  You are aware. We are all aware.]

“eh, he can handle it.”  He _really_ didn’t want to get up.

“[…]”

It had been weird enough when Gaster would sign ellipses _before_ he fell.  

Papyrus returned, briefly, carrying a heavy looking suitcase.  He dropped it on the floor by the door.

“hey, bro, how many kids have you watched?”  

He considered. “DOZENS!”

“at a time?”

“BROTHER, HOW MANY CHILDREN DOES FRISK COUNT AS?”

“probably one,” Sans said.

“THAT IS THE NUMBER, THEN.”

Maybe dad had a point.

“[You should ask someone to lend a hand,]” Gaster said.

“I CAN HANDLE THIS MYSELF!” Papyrus said, insulted and irritated.  "AND EVERYONE WAS ALREADY BUSY.  I WAS NOT THE FIRST ON THEIR LIST.  SO I WILL PROVE TO THEM THAT I SHOULD HAVE BEEN!“

"hey, dad,” Sans said.  "what’s the wd weather report today?“

”[I am…]“ Gaster looked away.  ”[The…the DARKNESS RISES UP.  THE CURRENT THREATENS.  PULLS.  So..]“  He shrugged, oddly.  ”[ABOUT AVERAGE.]“

"that sucks,” Sans said.

Papyrus ran back into his room, probably to pack another suitcase.

“[For…two meanings of the word.]”  His grin widened.  

Sans stared at him, and then laughed.  "wow.  the void’s friendlier than i would’ve thought.”

“[…]”

"what.”

“[Sans.  Wash your skull out.  With soap and water.]”  One of his hands waggled a finger in Sans’ direction.  "[That is technically a third meaning.]“

"ok.” Sans started to move, knowing he’d be stopped.

“[Never mind. Do Not Eat Soap.]”

They both remembered when Sans had been a kid, and - bolstered by his knowledge of a skeleton’s near-immunity to food poisoning, and full of youthful scientific curiosity -  he had outright eaten a bar of soap when Gaster told him off for swearing.

“ok,” Sans said.  He settled back down.  "just admit you thought it was funny, pops.  at least your upside down face thinks so.“

”[He has bad taste]“

Papyrus returned with two more suitcases.

"so dad’s feeling pretty ok today, and he wants to help you out.  he’s watched two kids, and you’ve watched probably-one, so that’s over half, right there.”

“[Sans.]”  Gaster’s face stretched in disapproval.  "[Children are not pleased when they see me.]“

"hey, you’re just like their grandparents.  they’ll love you.”  Sans wasn’t letting this get pushed onto him.  Anyway, it would probably be good for dad to get out and spend time with people who were used to monsters like him.  Yeah.  Sans was going to go with that.  It was for dad’s own good.

Man.  This chair was comfortable.

“WELL, FATHER DOES NEED TO GET OUT MORE,” Papyrus said, a little doubtful. “THIS COULD VERY WELL BE A GOOD IDEA.”

“[THIS WILL END BADLY,]”  Gaster said.  "[Let’s go.]“

–

Papyrus’ fingerbone wasn’t even off the doorbell when the barking started.  Gaster understood enough dog to figure out that it was mostly just "Who’s there?” shouted at the door over and over again.  The highest yipping bark kept telling them to go away.

Dogamy opened the door.  His fur was rumpled and he barely glanced at Gaster before letting them in.  He was in the middle of packing.  Dogaressa was sitting on the couch, two of her puppies on her lap.  They had been distracted by the doorbell, but the puppies looked like they had been crying.  Separation was difficult for very young children.

Once the young ones caught Papyrus’ scent, the barking changed, and the four of them not sitting with Dogaressa ran over and started cheerfully nipping at him.  Dogamy tried to shoo them away as he explained the routine so he and Dogaressa could get going.

Gaster sunk back, uneasy around so many monsters.  He melted into a shadow, and only left it reluctantly when Papyrus called him over to shake paws with (and give a quick pat to) Dogaressa and Dogamy.  They sniffed him, and he wasn’t sure they liked what they smelled, but they thanked him for helping out on such short notice.  They gave all their puppies a goodbye nuzzle and hurried out before the whining and wailing from the puppies could make them decide they had to stay.

Two minutes after they were gone, the whining stopped, and the puppies went back to sniffing at and trying to gnaw on Papyrus.  

“I AM GOING TO MAKE DINNER!  IT IS UNWISE TO EAT THE PERSON WHO IS GOING TO COOK FOR YOU!”

“[Play with them,]” Gaster suggested.  

His hands moving seemed to catch the attention of the puppies.  One of them growled, and then was shushed by another.  Gaster was having trouble telling them apart.

The boldest one approached him.  They sniffed.  Gaster was sure they couldn’t see him all that well, when he wasn’t moving.  He held out a hand and the puppy examined him.

They barked, excited, to their siblings.  "He smells like grandmas!“

"Grandmas?” The other puppies hurried over.  Six tiny wet little noses nudged against his hands.  They all barked the names they had for their amalgamate relative.  

Gaster felt a warm feeling swell within his broken soul.  He was not sure he would ever be a grandparent.  He didn’t like the monster Papyrus was regularly dating, and he didn’t think Sans would settle down.  Well.  He was in a permanent state of “settled down,” actually.  He would have to unsettle if he started dating so he could resettle into a different position.  One that would give Gaster grandchildren.

He didn’t bring it up.  He had been away for too long to feel comfortable even mentioning how much he would enjoy having a little baby bones running around calling him some cute nickname.  The puppies calling him “grandmas” and “geny” and so on made that desire suddenly overwhelming.  

He was supposed to be there to help Papyrus babysit, but…

“[I have some treats for you children,]” Gaster said.  The puppies didn’t understand him, but they did understand the smell of the dog kibble he brought out of his inventory.  His original idea was that if they swamped him, he could throw the kibble and escape, but now he just wanted them to have it.

“DON’T GIVE THEM TOO MANY!  I HAVE A PROPER MEAL PLANNED AND IT WOULD BE AWFUL IF THEIR APPETITE WAS RUINED BEFORE THEY COULD EAT A DELICIOUS MEAL PROVIDED BY THE GREAT CHEF PAPYRUS.”  

“[Right,]” Gaster said.  He laughed as one of the puppies licked his hand.  He gave her another handful of treats.

“DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID?”

“[Yes.  You’re making dinner, correct?]”

“…FINE!  I WILL DO THAT, BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.”  

“[You children can call me grandpa if you like,]” Gaster said.  They still didn’t understand him, but they liked watching his hands move around. Their vision would be average for dog monsters (he initially thought “poor,” but that was a relative, subjective term that did not apply) so his hands would be blurry and indistinct.  

They didn’t mind not understanding him.  Now that they knew he was a snack-providing adult, they were fine with him.

Gaster found some of their toys and tossed them for them, watching the puppies race around and bounce into each other.  They yipped in excitement.  When Papyrus returned with dinner, they were worked up into a complete frenzy. They had forgotten the toys and were nipping and chasing each other.

“THIS IS ABSOLUTE CHAOS,” Papyrus said.  One of the puppies deliberately slammed into his leg, laughing, and Papyrus’ chef hat fell onto the ground.  Another puppy jumped on it, and a third came over and sniffed at the sauce spill on Papyrus’ apron.  They bit his apron there, trying to eat it.  A fourth puppy, catching on that something exciting was happening, ran over and grabbed Papyrus apron, too, apparently thinking they were playing tug of war with it.  

Papyrus waved his arms, trying to keep his balance.  The last two puppies were too busy yipping and nipping at each other to notice Papyrus.  

“[They are adorable,]” Gaster said.  "[They have so much energy. Above average, I think.  They remind me of you when you were their age.]“

"THAT IS A VERY SWEET, IF INCONVENIENTLY TIMED REMINISCENCE.”  

The apron tore, and one of the puppies fell back, yelping in surprise.  She must have landed on her tail badly, because she started to howl.

Papyrus picked her up and checked her for injury (with the other puppy still hanging from his apron).  She calmed quickly, and when he set her down, she ran over to the two puppies still fighting and hopped in with them.

“DINNER IS READY, PUPPIES,” Papyrus said, loud, trying to get their attention.

“Bones?” one of them asked.

“Bones!!” That word caught the attention of the rest of the dogs, and they all launched themselves at Papyrus.  He fell over under the onslaught.  

“NO!  IT IS IN THE KITCHEN!  IT DOES NOT MATTER HOW DELICIOUS MY ARM IS, WE ARE NOT HAVING IT FOR DINNER.”  

Gaster got out his camera and took a few pictures.  This was the cutest thing he had ever seen, and he needed a permanent record of it for his archives.  

It took Papyrus a long time to get the puppies into the kitchen.  They didn’t want to sit and settle down to eat.  When they finally did, the food was gone in seconds and they ran back into the living room spreading sauce everywhere and getting into trouble.  Papyrus chased after them, yelling about baths.  

The first, boldest puppy approached Gaster again.  They had sauce all over their muzzle. Gaster wiped at it a little bit with a tissue, but it didn’t help much.

“Pets?” They asked.

Of course.  Gaster pet them.  There was sauce on his hand, now, but he didn’t care.  He sat down on the couch and the puppy climbed into his lap, curled up, and fell asleep.

“OK!  YOU ARE WATCHING THAT ONE!  THANK YOU.  I WILL BATHE THE OTHER FIVE BY MYSELF, AND THEN WASH THAT ONE LATER, I GUESS.”  Papyrus was holding three puppies and another two were playfully nipping at his ankles.  He was covered in sauce.

“[Ok.]”  Gaster pet the one he was responsible for.  They made adorable little snuffling noises in their sleep.

There was a lot of noise coming from the bathroom.  Gaster turned on the television.  

When Papyrus returned, he was soaking wet from head to toe.  His clothes dripped, and odd, sauce-colored suds stuck to him.  The puppies came with him. They were all very, very wet.  

“WE NEED MORE TOWELS,” Papyrus said.  "I USED EVERY ONE THEY HAVE.“

”[Paper towels?]“ Gaster suggested.  He stayed where he was.  One of the wet puppies jumped up next to him, and he used one of Dogaressa and Dogamy’s throw pillows to dry him off.  The puppy in Gaster’s lap woke and shoved off their brother when he tried to climb on, too.

”[Now, now,]“ Gaster said.  

When Papyrus returned, the puppies and him were dry again.

"THIS IS PROBABLY WHAT HELL IS LIKE,” Papyrus said.  "THEY HAD A PACKAGE OF SIXTEEN ROLLS OF PAPER TOWELS IN THE PANTRY, AND I USED EVERY SINGLE ONE.“

”[You are doing very well,]“ Gaster said.  The puppies were all fluffy and even more adorable, now.  Papyrus had done an amazing job, in his opinion. ”[If you sit down, maybe they will sit with you.]“  

Papyrus slumped on the couch next to Gaster like he was a puppet and someone had cut his strings.  The dogs were all worn out, and climbed on with him, piling up on Papyrus and each other until they were a warm, snoring mass.  

"WE SHOULD READ THEM A STORY,” Papyrus said.  "THAT IS PART OF THEIR BEDTIME ROUTINE.“

”[I would, but they don’t understand me.]“

Papyrus sighed.  He wasn’t going to get up and get a book, so he told the sleeping puppies his own favorite bedtime story from memory.  He trailed off at the end, and fell asleep himself.  

Gaster put a blanket over his son.  The blanket moved around from the pile of puppies concealed under it, to his amusement.  

He wasn’t going to want to leave when the regular babysitter got there in the morning. He decided to stay awake and keep an eye on things, just so he could enjoy pretending to be a grandpa for a little while longer.


End file.
